One year on since you left us and I can maybe finally post about losing you without disintegrating into a sodden mess.
For the year before, in anticipation, I said that when you died the floodgates would open. And they did. Your loss let loose such a storm of grief in me I am not sure I will ever recover. My grief over losing you is entangled with my grief over losing the rest of the pack; such a time we all had! Now only memories and images left. Our very identity gone. My grief at losing you is compounded by the constant grief I carry while witnessing the steady destruction of this beautiful planet we call home and all its priceless wonders, my grief over the pandemic and what it has shown us about ourselves, my grief over the countless horrors that humans inflict upon themselves and other beings.
But I never lost sight that you were you, my most beautiful baby boy, my big bubba, my sweetest heart. You deserve your own epitaph, elegy, end note. But I am not ready to write it yet. For now, suffice it to say, I will love you forever and ever Travis Ray, to the Milky Way and back, as long as the rivers flow and the birds soar. Run free big dawg, I’ll see you on down the road.
Travis Ray 12/01/08 – 2/17/22
